Thursday, June 21, 2007

June 22, 2007 Summer is here!

A moment in the sun. . . .

So here we are, the little family, on the beach in Orange County. We had so much fun! This day we met with my friend Melinda and her family and all went to this place, just north of Laguna Beach, called Crystal Cove. You couldn't have picked a more beautiful place for us to spend the afternoon.

I had a great time in California. We played hard from morning until night. My friend Karen was a huge help to me, making sure I knew what rollercoasters were the "good" ones and keeping us all laughing with Roger the Cockroach and "crazzzzzyyy" driving. I honestly had some bad days out there, lots of aches and pains and fatigue. Karen even rubbed my neck with Biofreeze to keep me going. I was so tired by the end of each day.

Did my wig fall off? Almost. On one ride at Magic Mountain, I realized it was probably going to come off, so I grabbed it at the last minute and held on to it. I got some stares as we pulled into the unload station! I guess I scared some people. After that I put a scarf on and stopped worrying.

We shopped at all the cool stores in Santa Monica, including Fred Segal's (that's Rachel and me vogueing). We played at Six Flags Magic Mountain and Knott's Berry Farm (that's not me on the roller coaster). We met with Greg and Renee Bujewski and their adorable little kids. We ate at great restaurants. We drank a little beer (Karen had a big beer!) and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

We're back home now, and Kurt is gone back to West Point. I had an MRI today, and I'll get the results on Tuesday. We are checking to see how much the tumors have shrunk. I'll meet with my oncologist, Natalie Marshall MD, on Tuesday and get my final chemo treatment. In early July I'll meet again with my surgeon, Linda Smith MD, and we'll discuss the surgical procedure. We have tentatively set the week of July 23 for surgery. I'm so freaked out by that . . . .but anxious to get the cancer out of my body and live a long, happy life!

Things I've learned over the past month:
1) Help and support can come from surprising places.
2) I love my kids so much! Where would I be without them?
3) The only person who can take care of your health is YOU. Other people can help, but the responsibility rests with YOU. Can't blame anyone else for being out of shape or missing doctor's appointments.
4) Asking and asking and asking still works. Whenever I have doubts, I ask.
5) I've started to expect that I will forget things, i.e., assume I have chemo brain fog! I almost give up sometimes when I can't think of something in the first five seconds. Actually, my brain seems to be working OK. I'm just really tired all the time, and my brain is clogged with dates, numbers, appointments, work stuff, family stuff, and other things I have to remember to do. Walk the dog! Fix the roof! Sell Kurt's car! Buy airline tickets! This is how it is. Just like any other day. Except all the appointments and medical stuff are now at the top of my list, and I can't keep track of the little stuff anymore.
6) My friends are awesome!!

Thanks to everyone who has listened to me, done me a favor, made me laugh, sent me gorgeous flowers, travelled across the country to visit me, or said a kind word lately. I'd like to think I'm getting tougher every day, but I feel kind of weak and pathetic some days. Your kindness really helps me.

I get by with a little help from my friends!